Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Kringle Chronicles

So the other day at work , one of my friends whom I will call AntE came over and we were talking about an emergency expense Kringle was going to have. She was giving me a heads up and then somehow the conversation changed to Kringles manly skills.

AntE- So Kringle is awesome at his job and really knows what he is doing.
me- yep, i've seen him in manic action...he is pretty cool.
AntE- the other day he had to get an alligator ready for some test so he just went on in there, wrassled it down and got its mouth shut.
me- ...
me-oh my god that is so hot.
AntE- yes...*laughing*...it is
me- no really....I think my panties just flew off and hit the window.

Later I was talking to someone else who knew about it.

me- OH MY GOD...did you hear Kringle wrassled an alligator alone! HOW HOT!
greenwool- laughs...yes...but honey...he had like 4 people there with him.
me- okay....4 people...but still he wrassled an alligator!
greenwool- I think he may have helped, but then I think he got booted onto his ass in the water.
me- *sigh* that sounds more like Kringle. the fantasy is gone. come on back now panties.

Birthday approacheth

I am turning 40. I am not being sarcastic when I say how excited I am by this. I always looked forward to the 30s and 40s. it seems like that would be the most amazing part of your life. You are finally an adult and you feel it down in your bones. Just look at what happened in my 30's.

I took a job halfway across the county and moved there alone.
I got married.
I had a child.
I got separated from my husband.
I realized that if I took this one little pill I would be less shy and anxiety ridden.
I got a job at a zoo!

In that time I have visited old friends, made new friends, and mostly learned a shit load of stuff about myself. It leaves me wondering what wonderful or life changing things will happen in my 40's? Oh...Happy Birthday to me.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Ice is for Skating

So the other day, I came back to work after lunch and got to park my car in a close to the door space. Yay for me! When I got out of the car I noticed I was parked next to/ on top of a large puddle of slick ice. I gingerly walked into a safety zone and then one of my voices, Safety Stacie said “ REMEMBER! When you leave tonight to walk carefully when you get near the car. Much later as I was getting ready to leave the trailer, I noticed a co-worker was leaving at the same time. We started chatting and so I forgot all about what Safety Stacie said! My coworker said goodnight and went past my car (thank GOD! Cause I think I would have died if anyone besides the safety cameras saw this) and I strode purposefully up to my car door. As I yanked my door open the motion of my sudden stop and yank must have been just enough to start my feet Scooby Dooing on the ice. I vaguely remember a high pitched NO NO NO NO coming out of my mouth. I realized this ship was going down. Safety Stacie yelled Pitch forward not back! And then next thing I knew, I had hit the inside of the car door and slid down it, ending up with my knees hitting the frozen asphalt and my fingers hooked over the top of the door. The door and I swung back and forth for a moment and I looked like someone had hung me on a line to dry.
I gasped for a bit, then let go and slowly slid to the ground. I then proceeded to crawl into my car like a baby, using the seat and steering wheel to gain purchase.
As I sat in my car craning my head around to make sure no one saw my circus stunt, I took inventory of all my body parts. Luckily for me I did not 1. hurt my knees 2. pee my pants 3. get bloody. I did notice that my left hand ring finger hurt like hell…but it didn’t hurt as bad as the time that pig bit my other finger. That finger still aches sometimes when the weather changes. Lesson learned Safety Stacie…lesson learned.