sweating like an oldie

I have so many funny little things to share, and yet i do not have the gumption to write them..I need to make myself sit down this weekend and hammer them out....so much to say, so little time.

Play D and D? We are hiring at Target!

Tonight Ry and I stopped by Target on our way home from Grammy and Pops. We needed some breakfast stuff and I had promised him some new Pokemon cards. All his little friends sit around at the morning Y and battle these cards...Every time I have to play it with him i feel like i should just poke my eyes out, but you know...he loves it.

So at target we are checking out and the pokemon pack gets picked up by the clerk. Now he TOTALLY looks normal...but here is what happens..

Clerk- Ohhhhh not Pokemon.
Stacie- ?!?!?
Clerk- you know, you shouldn't really invest your money in pokemon. Its not real Japanese animation.
Stacie- (in my head) Is this dude talking to me??? WTF!
Stacie - (outloud) mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Clerk- I mean...there are so many other wonderful things you could be watching...I think that (inserting fake title here cause I cannot remember what he said) Usuba wan gee gee is awesome. It is on episode 20 and the hero is really someone to look up to. They show his scars because he refuses to kill so he is always taking a beating.
Stacie- Ummmm. You know those pokemon cards are for an 8 year old.
Clerk- Oh....yeah...yeah....but i mean really...pokemon is not anime...anime is the name for Japanese cartoons. it is very arty...and wonderful.
Stacie- welll.....ummmmmm okay...yeah...love anime....ummmm see ya.

Now look...this whole bizarre conversation probably wouldn't have bothered me if i wouldn't have had a very similar one at Dominicks 2 weeks ago about comic con and civil war games with a clerk there. WTF people. I don't care if you prefer the original star trek over the next generation. I don't want to discuss that your other hobby is dressing up in union soldier uniforms and doing a night reenactment complete with cannon firing. I just want my milk and cereal.

And why is it that all of these odd young men feel that I am just the person they should be yapping to about this? I was not wearing my Buffy t shirt...I had my eight year old with me so it is OBVIOUS the cards are for him...

Besides....everyone knows Star Trek Next Generation was way better that the original..

You down with STD....yeah you know me

I just wrote this whole thing and it was wiped out in an instant...you just know this story won't be funny the second time i write it.

A couple weeks ago I was out with Belle at Panera's eating dinner and then knitting. During the meal I mentioned that I often concede to switch ry days with her and Mike for plans they have, and i would hope that if i start dating they will be open to swapping days with me.

Belle- OMG~! It's been 4 years and you are finally talking about dating! I knew you would! You told me you would never date another guy but now you want to !!!!
Stacie- Calm down. I am not talking about dating anyone really.
Belle- You just said Date! You cannot deny it!!!
Stacie- by "date" i meant fuck. I am not interested in a relationship...i just want sex.
Belle- EWWWWWWW! Stacie! what about diseases! Oh my god! You have no idea where they have been !!!!!

Now....a couple days later i recounted the above convo to Cath, Jen, and Peg at our local Chinese dive...and here is the continuation

Stacie- So I said to Belle...my "date" will wear a condom! I am not a teenager!
and Belle said to me " THere are other things you can catch!" So I said I am almost 40 years old and if i want to get an STD I have earned that right! I have been careful and in relationships my whole life (except that one time in a bathroom in HS). Dammit! I am adult enough to have casual sex!
Cath- Ummmm Stace, I think that guy in the booth next to us just stroked out.

Cue all Four of us looking over at lone dude only two feet away with a flushed face and glazed look in his eye.

Crap.