Ry told me Saturday he was running away from home.
Ry- You are so mean and bossy...i am done! I am leaving!
he grabbed his cubs robe and laid it down. He started filling it with all sorts of kid shit...pokemon cards, a microscope, other things he wouldn't let me see. he rolled it all up like a tootsie roll and marched in front of me. (fyi we have tons of backpacks ....but everytime he wants to run away, it is the same robe with a tootsie roll look).
Ry- I'm leaving now
me- where you going?
ry- a river. that way i can fish for my food and drink water and stuff.
me- winter isn't too far off, you sure you don't want to stay where its warm?
ry- I can build a shelter and have a fire.
me- you just ordered some pokemon cards off of ebay. they aren't showing up for another 5 days.
ry- *crap* Okay...i will stay till the pokemon cards show up and THEN i am leaving!
later that day we sat down and had a talk about how running away doesn't solve anything and ...
me- you know ry, who was crabby and bossy first this morning?
ry- i was! I know!
me- and your mood affected mine...i started getting bossy and crabby back at you
ry- HEY! Thats called PAYBACK and you told me that payback was BAD!
Busted!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
My mom loves curling.
Awhile back Cathy and i went to dinner at a local (for her) restaurant that serves breakfast all day. As per my normal routine, i requested a restaurant that did this and then didn't order breakfast. I don't know why i do this, i just do. Cathy, on the other hand, did order a breakfast skillet.This restaurant was filled with 70 and older people. the youngest peeps besides us were the waitresses. when our orders arrived, mine had a lot of sauteed onions, while Cathy's had none. She saw me scraping them to the side, so i asked her if she wanted any. She said sure.
Now...it should be mentioned here for people who may have forgotten...i not only have comically large hooters, but short t-rex arms.
Cathy did not move her plate closer to me, she just peeled the eggs back as if to say Well? Whatcha waiting for? i scootched forward a bit, but quickly realized there was nowhere to go. my boobs would be covered in gravy if i even moved an inch....my dino arms could in no way reach her plate....so without really thinking it over i scooped a huge amount of onions together with a fork and knife and flung them at Cathys plate.
miraculously they made it.
Suddenly we were both laughing....
me- I can't believe it they not only made it on your plate , but onto the small portion of potatoes you uncovered!
Cath- giggle
me- i think i just found a new Olympic sport!
Cath- i agree. it's amazing and messy!
me- the lameness of it reminds me of that winter sport....the one where you rub the ice with a mop? what is that one??? My mom LOVES it
Cath- Hurling? is it hurling?
me- HURLING???? NO ! CURLING! you were close! so close ...we should call our onion flinging sport hurling!
As i shouted the word Hurling....the 76 year old 6 foot cranky pants woman with the dr seusian double bun listing over her forehead swung her head 180 degrees like an owl and pierced me with her icy gaze....
i shut up for a second. Cath followed my gave and mumbled NICE HAIR under her breath. we both broke up into giggles.
we talked about many things over dinner....but whenever one of us said hurling or curling we started laughing so hard we couldn't stop.
during one of our giggle spats Fanny Seuss was getting up to leave...she stalked past our table and when she got between the two of us she pulled herself up straight and screeched MY GAWD! All the while staring me down.
I was flabbergasted...who got mad at laughter?
this of course made us laugh even more...and made me run to the bathroom to avoid peeing in my pants.
Now...it should be mentioned here for people who may have forgotten...i not only have comically large hooters, but short t-rex arms.
Cathy did not move her plate closer to me, she just peeled the eggs back as if to say Well? Whatcha waiting for? i scootched forward a bit, but quickly realized there was nowhere to go. my boobs would be covered in gravy if i even moved an inch....my dino arms could in no way reach her plate....so without really thinking it over i scooped a huge amount of onions together with a fork and knife and flung them at Cathys plate.
miraculously they made it.
Suddenly we were both laughing....
me- I can't believe it they not only made it on your plate , but onto the small portion of potatoes you uncovered!
Cath- giggle
me- i think i just found a new Olympic sport!
Cath- i agree. it's amazing and messy!
me- the lameness of it reminds me of that winter sport....the one where you rub the ice with a mop? what is that one??? My mom LOVES it
Cath- Hurling? is it hurling?
me- HURLING???? NO ! CURLING! you were close! so close ...we should call our onion flinging sport hurling!
As i shouted the word Hurling....the 76 year old 6 foot cranky pants woman with the dr seusian double bun listing over her forehead swung her head 180 degrees like an owl and pierced me with her icy gaze....
i shut up for a second. Cath followed my gave and mumbled NICE HAIR under her breath. we both broke up into giggles.
we talked about many things over dinner....but whenever one of us said hurling or curling we started laughing so hard we couldn't stop.
during one of our giggle spats Fanny Seuss was getting up to leave...she stalked past our table and when she got between the two of us she pulled herself up straight and screeched MY GAWD! All the while staring me down.
I was flabbergasted...who got mad at laughter?
this of course made us laugh even more...and made me run to the bathroom to avoid peeing in my pants.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Long Rusty Shears
Well….it officially happened….I hit whatever invisible wall I hit when a change must SUDDENLY happen. I had been hemming and hawing about my hair for days. It had gotten to shoulder length…the perm had grown out so it was an inch straight then curly. The right side of my head tended to frizz up on the top like a bird’s nest while the rest lay in pleasant curls.
Do I color it? Hmmmmm My job does not allow “unnatural” colors. I was unable to stray from the thought of 2 tone blue hair…no other color appealed to me….so no color….
Do I re perm? Hmmmmm….Riley did not like my curly hair…and that birds nest section really bugged me.
So Thursday afternoon I was talking to Jen about my hair…and I said I had half a mind to go cut it all off with our rusty ole scissors. Jen said…noooooooo…you don’t want to do that….but the more she said I didn’t…the more I really did want to!
I left her office and picked up the shears off of Pegs desk. Like a 4 year old I softly snuck them into the bathroom with me….I stared at my hair….in two small pony tails…then stared at the birds nest. I picked up said birds nest and chopped it off!
Well that looked like shit. So I did the same to the other side….Then I sawed through my pony tails.
I was left with a mix between a Dorothy Hamill bowl cut and a mullet. A Hamullet.
I calmly walked into Jen and Cathy’s office again with one hand full of chopped off ponytails and the other holding dagger like scissors.
OH MY GOD! They FREAKED out….Like this was abnormal behavior. I think Cathy wanted to spank me and not in a sexy way. Martin walked by and was like “Hey, what are you guys…oh my god! Is that hair? Oh my god! Do you have a mullet?”
There was pandemonium….my boss ran in…”Are you okay? Mentally? Is everything alright? Is this a breakdown???”
She took the scissors away.
Martin walked by again….”hair…the hair….why? And they say accounting is boring”
I was told they would have paid for a haircut for me if I was short of funds….I love my coworkers. I said I would go get it styled….but sometimes; you just had to DO IT!
I have a sticker on my car that says 4 out of 5 voices in my head say go for it! Cathy said she wished I had listened to the 5th voice that day.
I went to the local hair place where it only costs 8 bucks. The nice older Spanish lady sat me down and had me remove my kerchief (hey…you cannot drive around with a Hamullet). She gasped and made the sign of the cross….She handed me a book of styles….I said, let’s go long. She did not laugh.
She cleaned my hack job up nicely…I kinda love it.
But I still wish it was blue.
Do I color it? Hmmmmm My job does not allow “unnatural” colors. I was unable to stray from the thought of 2 tone blue hair…no other color appealed to me….so no color….
Do I re perm? Hmmmmm….Riley did not like my curly hair…and that birds nest section really bugged me.
So Thursday afternoon I was talking to Jen about my hair…and I said I had half a mind to go cut it all off with our rusty ole scissors. Jen said…noooooooo…you don’t want to do that….but the more she said I didn’t…the more I really did want to!
I left her office and picked up the shears off of Pegs desk. Like a 4 year old I softly snuck them into the bathroom with me….I stared at my hair….in two small pony tails…then stared at the birds nest. I picked up said birds nest and chopped it off!
Well that looked like shit. So I did the same to the other side….Then I sawed through my pony tails.
I was left with a mix between a Dorothy Hamill bowl cut and a mullet. A Hamullet.
I calmly walked into Jen and Cathy’s office again with one hand full of chopped off ponytails and the other holding dagger like scissors.
OH MY GOD! They FREAKED out….Like this was abnormal behavior. I think Cathy wanted to spank me and not in a sexy way. Martin walked by and was like “Hey, what are you guys…oh my god! Is that hair? Oh my god! Do you have a mullet?”
There was pandemonium….my boss ran in…”Are you okay? Mentally? Is everything alright? Is this a breakdown???”
She took the scissors away.
Martin walked by again….”hair…the hair….why? And they say accounting is boring”
I was told they would have paid for a haircut for me if I was short of funds….I love my coworkers. I said I would go get it styled….but sometimes; you just had to DO IT!
I have a sticker on my car that says 4 out of 5 voices in my head say go for it! Cathy said she wished I had listened to the 5th voice that day.
I went to the local hair place where it only costs 8 bucks. The nice older Spanish lady sat me down and had me remove my kerchief (hey…you cannot drive around with a Hamullet). She gasped and made the sign of the cross….She handed me a book of styles….I said, let’s go long. She did not laugh.
She cleaned my hack job up nicely…I kinda love it.
But I still wish it was blue.
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