Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping, something louder than before,
"Surely," said I, "surely, that is something at my window lattice.
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore.
Let my heart be still a moment, and this mystery explore.
" 'Tis the wind, and nothing more." -The Raven Edgar Allan Poe
Oh Dear. There were 2 glorious nights of radio silence from Bert. Ry was unhappy, but I felt a little relieved at not having to ...having to what? Its not like there was more work with 2 kids. Less in fact. But as I enjoy the shit out of Ry and pretty much not any other child...I guess I was glad to be back to what I was used to .
Then came Saturday.
Mike had Ry, as they were going to orientation to learn about being volunteers at ADOPT in the cat section. This was Belles idea as she thought ry needed to learn about helping others for helps sake...not allowance sake. Also there was all this building esteem...better human...yadda yadda that she spouted on about. Well let me tell you Belle! When Ry wears down Mike and ends up bringing Bananas the 500 year old constantly sleeping fat cat home, YOU are taking it!
Anyway, Mom came out and we had a wondrous time together...Library, chatting, eating...it was awesome. Then Mike and Ry went to the pool and mom went home and I took a shower and then took a nap in front of the fan....BLISS.
that is until the doorbell rang.
ding dong ding dong.
Oh my god my eyes flew open. It could only be one person. BERT.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
I am not getting it. I am in a shirt and undies...i am happy on my bed....he will figure it out.
ding dong ding dong ding dong
clatter *pause*
clatter (door knocker)
silence.
well shit. now I'm done with the nap. so i grabbed my book and left the lights off so he wouldn't be alerted to my presence in the event he was loitering somewhere nearby.
In the event?
ding dong ding dong ding dong
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
now its a matter of stubbornness. I will NOT put on pants and answer that door! NO ONE IS HOME!
silence
a page of my book
BANG!
pause
BANG!
WHAT THE *&@!
I leap out of my bed and fling open the curtains.There is Bert...Standing on a section of firewood a foot under my window banging a stick against my window. I stared goggle eyed at him then crank open the window. Before I could even say a word Bert says "whew...about time! What took you so long?!"
WHAT?!
me-Bert! They aren't home! Ry is with his dad.
Bert - Oh. Where did they go?
me- the pool
Bert- when will they be back?
me- no idea. See you later!
Bert- oh. okay. bye.
I crank the window shut and go try to call Mike. No answer.
I send a text to J, who is also at the pool, and tell her who was at my house.
I call D two doors down and tell her how Bert was like Spiderman all up at my window.
a short time later i get a text from D (who had driven past on her way to the store).
He is in your driveway.
OMG...do you know where your children are? I peek out the window and he is sitting on the front step next to our door. I try Mike again and he blessedly picks up. Looks like J told Ry that Bert was at our place and they are on the way home. I go downstairs and open the door and let Bert know they are on their way home.
Bert- where were they ?
me- the pool (dude....told you that before)
Bert- where is the pool?
me- far far away stalker..okay...I didn't say stalker.
I close the door and Mike and Ry roll up 5 minutes later.
Staker, thy stalking is done for the day.